at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
