Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
