how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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