we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
