Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You're a waste of cheezeits
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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