I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You were trust falling into bushes
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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