I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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