Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
only you would photoshop your dick
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
