this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You need a sexual gate keeper
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
