If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
