i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
