Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
