I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I am naked and annoyed.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
