Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
