He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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