we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
