Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
