Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
That accounts for only three of the penises
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
