Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
this hospital has no fireball
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
