Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
