We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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