He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
its liver damage thursday
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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