Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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