Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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