I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
