...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
