Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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