DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
