I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
