Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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