Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
