Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
