I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
