piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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