I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
