i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
handjob tips. give me some.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
