Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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