the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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