love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
