i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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