I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
