u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
