he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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