I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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