I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
