Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
