She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
