I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
