is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
