His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
